Heartless

"You broke my heart and I let you succeed, cuz to a player that's an organ that you really don't need." - Sugafree

I wasn't heartless til the fucker broke the one I had all up into parts.

I mean really what was I gonna do with a broken heart?

Shit that's broken is useless to me... unless we're talkin bout broken down weed

Sometimes things just can't be fixed, especially if they've been shattered

So I just said fuck it and let him keep what was left

Cuz the way I figure, it don't even really matter

Music

I want a guy who's playlist is similar to mine but with a few extras to enhance what I've got.

I want a guy who when he hears the salsa o merengue come into rotation, he doesn't immediately change it.

But instead he listens to it and appreciates the sound of the congas, horns and güira and the precision of the timing, realizing that to analyze and understand the music is to analyze and understand me.

I want him to be able to plug into my player and feel like he's hearing his.

I want to appreciate the diversity between his list and mine.

I want his music to expose me.

I want it to pull me apart and then put me back together using the melodies, harmonies and tempo as the glue to reinforce.

I want his music to flow through my body as naturally as bossa nova causes me to move and sway my hips.

I want his music in me.

Off the Hook

You ever been fishing? I've only been once or twice in my life, but this is what I remember of it:

1. Take the fishing rod and bait the hook.
2. Step back a little and then cast the line out.
3. Wait
4. Wait
5. Cuss
   
6. Wait
7. Pray
8. Wait
9. Pray
10. Wait.Cuss.Pray

This is probably just my take on it. Again only been once or twice. However when I've seen other people do it, whether it be on TV or in person, other folks always seem to catch a fish. But me? Never. Not once. I admit this is probably largely due to the fact that I am impatient as fuck. I HATE WAITING. Always have, so fishing is probably not something that I should fuck with anyways right?

Well it seems like this whole concept of "fishing" constantly follows me. Even when I'm not trying. I notice this main in my "love" life. (Love is in "" cuz well really there isn't a whole lotta love in my life. I'm not sad or anything like that over it. Actually I'm content with the way things are. My life is plenty complicated and busy without any extra "love". ) I use to be hopeful when I'd cast out my line, feeling the slight tugging on my heart strings thinking I'd caught the big one... only to real in my line and find out I'd caught a damn guppy =/ Toss it back. On and On this went until I said Maaaaaaaaaaaaan FUCK THIS, cuz you know like I said, I'm impatient. That catch and release bullshit ain't for me.

Lately, last two years or so, I've been the fish on the hook. Luckily I've more or less been able to realize when the bait used on the line ain't worth snappin at. Unfortunately, cuz there's been more bullshit bait on the lines I'm sure I've swam past some bait worthy of consumption. Even the few times I've found myself nibbling on the bait, I've backed up. Hell I've been slightly hooked, but pulled away before I was truly captured, getting off the hook left scars but fuck it... even at the thought of this I just gotta *shrug*. Cuz honestly I feel like Nemo when he was trapped in the aquarium... knowing there's an entire ocean out there, I can't bring myself to be content with biting at just any baited hook... no matter how tempting. I won't allow myself to get hooked. I'm not ready to be pulled out of waters I haven't explored.

I just hope I don't get eaten by a shark avoiding the hook.