Cali... we gotta talk Love...

Dear Cali,

Let me start off by saying I love you. I really really do. I love everything about you, even the stuff that irritates me on a daily basis. You raised me. I learned to walk, run, skip on your block and skate, ride a bike and drive on your streets. I soaked up the sun laying on your beaches, trying to darken my skin, so I'd have that "Cali girl" look. I might've lost my virginity to Him but we both know that YOU are the one who REALLY broke me in. I was educated both in your schools and in your streets.You saw me when I was doin dirt, and shit I'm not entirely proud of and you saw me when I was doing right, or at least trying to. Even on those cold rainy winter days, when you'd bamboozle me with sun and warmth in the morning giving me false hope that the cold was gone for good, only to drop the clouds back in and I'd end up soaking wet and sneezing by the time I got home, I still love you. I mean really how could I stay mad at you? You're both my place of business and where home is... you're my hideaway and my avenue into the spotlight... where I grind and where I griiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiind haha...

Spring, Summer and late Autumn days ridin to Nowherenparticular with the sunroof open and the windows down, blowin Zig Zag wrapped trees and groovin to music that could've only come from you. And you know I mean shit like LeMarvin, Goapele, J. Myers and Ledisi... okay and maybe a lil Too Short, Snoop and E-40 too... feeling the sun shine down on my curls and shoulders, just taking all of you in, those are the days I love most with you. Quite honestly, everything I know is mostly in part because I learned it from you. So really from the bottom of my heart, thank you for helping me become who I am now.

But unfortunately, I think the time may be coming soon and I may have to say goodbye. For now at least. You see I don't WANT to leave you but I fear it's a must. And well... you know me better than almost anyone else so you probably know what I'm thinkin. Please don't take this the wrong way and please Love don't be offended. Don't feel like I'm abandoning you. I'm just taking one of the many lessons you taught me, you know the one about doing for self... oh yuh and that other one bout not waiting until the last minute to do things and planning ahead. Well it seems as if the time is approaching for me to go before it all comes crashing down and then I'm really fucked. Let's face it, we both know what happened last time I waited too long to get out. No Bueno.

I wanna stay and try to protect you, but it'd be like telling Hurricane Katrina "go away". I'd probably end up getting swallowed up and lost in the chaos. Neither one of us wants that, right? So my Love, I think I must be on my way. Stay as strong as you can, and don't let them take anymore from you than they already have. [[In Riley's voice]] "Make them pay what they owe!!"

I know you'll bounce back, you always do. Can't lie though, I'm gonna miss those sun shiney rides to Nowherenparticular with you. And you DEFINITELY know I'm gonna miss your greenery, cuz let's face it Love you've got a green thumb like no other. It really does hurt my heart to know there isn't much I can do to help you. I'm sorry. But I promise I'll be back, visits and whatnot... And hopefully if we both get our shit together we'll be back together again one day soon. So until then take care of yourself.

Faithfully Yours Always and Forever,

Lea